The Science of the Sexiness of Mayonnaise

I was just watching a McDonalds ad. The fact that it was McD's doesn't really matter, it could've been any fast food restaurant, but McD' s has the money for the high production values. The point is, there was a close-up shot of mayonnaise being squeezed on to the bottom of a hamburger. Imagine, they probably shot a dozen takes of mayonnaise being squeezed on a burger, and they had to choose one, the sexiest one, the one with the "most personality". Well, in the middle of the take, the mayo looped in on itself, which is probably as sexy as it gets in the mayo world. And I thought, there is a guy (or gal) out there whose job it is to comb through slo-mo shots of lettuce and onion falling sproingily on a burger, tomato slices slicing through the air, chicken breasts being slowly, lovingly flipped on a grill... all in the service of a giant, unmercilessly grotesque corporation.

Ai yi yi.