Warmology

Well, it's sure cold out. As most of my readers know, I am perpetually cold. But, at the age of 30, I began to understand the basics of keeping warm. I had to teach myself since I grew up in a family of warm people who always said "Just throw on a sweater!", which didn't change anything. I mean, you have to picture me clawing off my socks as soon as I got home from school and putting my feet on the hot-air register, examining them for the telltale silvery spots of frostbite.

I feel so proud of my discoveries in the field of body-warmth retention that I think I should be hired out as a consultant. Maybe I could create program for immigrants who are coming from warmer places. I would say that there are a few golden rules, but the most important is

WEAR AN UNDERSHIRT. Yes, the humble undershirt. It has to be the old-school kind, the kind that you can really tuck in. Because the tucking-in is key here. Never let your lower back get drafty.

Also important are:
THE ROOMY, STEEL-TOED BOOTS. Steel-toed is optional. A lot of people grimace at the thought of their feet being encased by steel in the winter but what it does is create a chamber in which the heat from your toes can circulate. It really works! Especially in conjunction with

WOOL-BLEND SOCKS!

Also, ALWAYS HAVE EARS COVERED.

Finally, make sure your coat -- which is down-filled -- COVERS YOUR ASS (I wouldn't be allowed to say "ass" in my pamphlet for the immigrants though). (Well, the pamphlet would be printed in 8 languages anyway.)

So, I put this into practice this morning on my dog walk, and I admit to one problem: by the end of the half-hour walk, the fronts of my thighs were beginning to feel painfully cold. I suspect the solution to this may lie in wearing tights. Future R & D will tell.

And now, to warm your heart: Stupid Yoga Quote #2: "Inhale all that sweet cherry nectar."