Open Letter

Dear Sour Co-Worker,

Why won't you meet my eye? What is it about me that seems to drive you into a frenzy of sullenness whenever I draw near? I try to be friendly to you even though you consistently try to put a damper on any good relations. I don't especially like you either, but I pretend to and that's what you should do too. A different co-worker said to me today, unbidden, "You cheer me up!" Apparently I have the opposite effect on you. Do I remind you of someone? A past foe? Have you completely erroneously diagnosed me as "perky"? I understand that perkiness is annoying. Anyway, you are driving me crazy, but I am going to keep shooting you with my love gun.